Building Genuine Social Connections

Don’t stress if you’re not a natural social butterfly! We’ve all been there. But don’t worry, with a little bit of effort and determination, anyone can learn to be more social and expand their circle of friends.

Put yourself out there

So the first step to becoming a social butterfly (or at least a little more social) is to, like, actually talk to people. I know, scary right? But seriously, just put yourself out there – attend social events, meet new people, and engage in activities that allow you to interact with others. Social platforms like VibeWith, Meetup and Facebook are really great in helping to remove some of the initial legwork when finding communities, and providing social context for you to easily reach out to people without the awkwardness.

Be open to new experiences

You’ve found a community you like (or maybe not yet but you’ll get there), but you’ve got to remember that humans come in different flavors which is what makes us amazing. This means you will be presented with a wide variety of attitudes and experiences, so you’ve got to be down to try new things – even if they make you feel a little uncomfortable or anxious (I’m not saying you shouldn’t set boundaries…but you get the point!). Making this adjustment will allow you to genuinely engage with people for who they are (and vice-versa). Plus, you may end up learning new skills, and expanding your horizons.

Practice active listening

You’ve finally met some people and you’re down with whatever they are into (hopefully) Now’s the time to actually start building a connection through genuine interaction. Now, how can that be done? Well, through an important skill known as Active Listening! 

You may be wondering, “Why active listening, can’t I just word vomit all the cool things about me and show them how great of a person I am? ”

If you do that, you’ll probably come off as the obnoxious look-at-me type of person that drains everyone’s energy (a common example is that politician you don’t like). The thing is people want to feel heard, appreciated and valued. Paying attention to what they are saying, asking questions, and actually caring about their thoughts and opinions will definitely make them curious to learn about you too, which means they’ll probably want to hang out with you more.

Be positive and upbeat

You had conversations with a couple of people, and while you felt you clicked with them, the feeling doesn’t seem to be mutual. Now you’re wondering what went wrong because you’ve already done all of the above (Putting yourself out there, Open-mindedness and Active Listening). One key component of vibing with someone is having compatible energy, and the easiest energy to give that gets people to latch on to you (like leeches to my feet when I went into the swamp that one time) is a positive one. Nobody wants to hang out with a Negative Nancy (or Ned).

If you want to maintain interactions consistently, you gotta bring the positive vibes. Not saying you should be fake (I agree that life can suck a lot of times, with the economy and all the weird stuff going on lately).  Focusing on the good stuff in life, being grateful for what you’ve got, and being optimistic about the future can make a world of difference and make people want to hang out with you.

Conclusion

To sum it all up – being social and making strong connections with others is important for your overall happiness and well-being. Just remember, like with all things good, it takes time and effort to make new friends and form genuine positive relationships with them.